It Seems We Have Won
by kim-onka
Summary: The epic final of the Representative Battle of the Rainbow arc, brought to you by a humble reader who wonders how Checkerface generates clothes for his victims and what's up with all those Hibirds. Mild parody of chapters 404-406.


Chapters 404-406, interpretation and mild parody.

Written on a random whim after reading the newest chapter and publishing quickly before the whim goes away. Also inspired by Pensulliwen's _CAPSLOCK DGM SUMMARIES_, although I can't aspire to comparison, and I went easy on the capslock. But shame FF cuts down double exclamation marks, on mangareader they're like all over the chapters.

I disclaim.

Have fun.

* * *

[...\chapter 404]

BERMUDA: *_glares at Tsuna_ * I'll destroy you! With my flame of the night!

TSUNA *_returns glare with a steady gaze*_

BERMUDA: I am going to boast now so that I'll look even more stupid after I lose… By going through the warp holes of the flame of the night… and boosting my propelling force to the extreme… I can reach the speed of light!

VERDE: No you can't. It's physically impossible, you imbecile. Ugh, I can't believe I lost to such idiots.

FON: If he's supposedly nearing the speed of light and we're standing by, how come we're talking?

COLONNELLO: Plus, he's telling Tsuna his strategy, kora!

LAL: So what? It's not like Sawada understands anything about those warp holes anyway.

BERMUDA: IT'S THE END, TSUNAYOSHI SAWADA!

REBORN: I hope you realize how many people have said that so far. And what happened to them.

TSUNA: *_punches Bermuda in the face*_ WHOOOHH… RYAAAHHH!

VERDE: How dramatic.

BERMUDA: *_sent flying by Tsuna's punch, thinking*_ This fist… He's not trying to kill me…Well he's a shounen hero after all… Complete defeat. Tsunayoshi Sawada… _*catches Reborn' eye and has an epiphany*_ No. Reborn!

REBORN: *_looks at Bermuda triumphantly*_ Sucks to be you, monkey.

JAGER: *_lying on the ground_* How could you, bastard!

REBORN: Have a guess.

TSUNA: _*approaches Jager and destroys his boss watch*_

EVERYBODY: *_collective gasp and wide eyes as a sign of astonishment – except those already unconscious_* Holy crap, we haven't expected him to do that!

ONOMICHI: *_excited_* Ooh! This means..! Team Reborn is the winner! (huhu)

MEMBERS OF TEAM REBORN STILL STANDING: *_fail to share the excitement_*

GAMMA: What about the wounded!?

TSUNA: We took them all to the hospital! I don't know when but we did!

ONOMICHI: *_removes his hat and throws confetti out of it*_ Congratulations! As a special gift, Reborn, the Arcobaleno of the winner team, will have his curse removed!

FON: I would laugh if this turned out to be true after all.

SKULL: Confetti? Seriously, confetti? Out of a hat?

COLONNELLO: Shut up, Skull, kora.

REBORN & TSUNA: *_look at Onomichi_*

TSUNA: Don't lie, Onomichi.

ONOMICHI: What?! You actually remembered my name?! And what do you mean?!

TSUNA: *_looking gravely at the ground_* The real goal of the representative war was to kill the current Arcobaleno and find new ones among the winner team.

ARCOBALENO: *_variations on grave look_*

ONOMICHI: *_raising both hands in confusion_* EH!? HAH!? What are you talking about..? (haha)

BERMUDA: *_lying on the ground, his face peeling off_* Don't play dumb!

VERDE: He doesn't have to play… he obviously IS dumb.

JAGER: Do you think we don't know!?

VERDE: I mean, LOOK at him.

NEW VOICE (CHECKERFACE, ONLY YOU DON'T KNOW THIS YET): You shouldn't blame him. Onomichi really doesn't know anything.

MORE PERCEPTIVE OF THE ONLOOKERS (TAKE YOUR PICK): Thought so. Who would let him in on a secret? Not an evil mastermind, certainly.

ONOMICHI: Oops… You were here? Checkerface-sama!

CHECKERFACE: Obviously. My life offers little entertainment, I wouldn't miss the final battle. *_lifts his hat in a greeting_*

TSUNA: Checkerface… here!?

COLONNELLO: He was supposed to never show himself!

SKULL: How could he come here so easily!?

BERMUDA: Erm, I did tell you he would come when the winner was announced. *_ignored_*

JAGER: Wasn't this, like, the whole point? To confront Checkerface? You were planning to organize a quest?

REBORN: Shut up, I can't feel his presence anyway.

FON: It must be a hologram or something.

TSUNA: Will someone finally teach me this presence-sensing trick?

CHECKERFACE: It seems that Bermuda-kun told you a lot of bad things about the Arcobaleno… and the secret of the pacifiers.

MAMMON: Mu, I hate when he talks like a schoolteacher.

BERMUDA: It's all true!

TSUNA: I believe Bermuda, which means he's telling the truth. But I'm against killing the Arcobaleno to defeat Checkerface.

CHECKERFACE: Defeat me? Nice dream.

REBORN: The young have to dream.

LAL: Oh, please.

BERMUDA: Tsunayoshi Sawada! Don't speak too much!

TSUNA: I'm not speaking too much! Shut up, you're already defeated, so your opinion doesn't count. I always discuss with my enemies.

CHECKERFACE: Discuss with me? What possibly?

BERMUDA: Be careful, Tsunayoshi Sawada! Checkerface will try to drag you into a dimension where he actually exists…

TSUNA: *_vaguely interested_* You never mentioned anything about dimensions…

BERMUDA: …but that is where you will defeat him!

TSUNA: Oh my, not only Hibari-san, but now even Bermuda is cheering for me! Do I seriously have to be followed by every weirdo I chance upon? I hope Reborn won't tell me to recruit him into my family…

CHECKERFACE: Well Bermuda-kun is wrong, this is really me, only I have this fancy ring with earthworms that hides my presence.

TSUNA: Once again I am inclined to doubt the good taste of whoever designs all those rings.

CHECKERFACE: *_removes hat, wig and mask_* Remember me?

[...\chapter 405]

REBORN: You are ..!

UNI: The person who helped us in the future.

TSUNA: Old Kawahira!

SKULL: He has glasses under his mask!

CHECKERFACE: Older than you suppose. So you thought I helped you? I only hid you from people who were going to capture Uni and kill you all. It wasn't my intention to help you in any way. Oh, and it's only one my form.

EVERYBODY: No, we're not interested.

TSUNA: What's the meaning of all this!?

CHEKCERFACE: That's no way to ask a question. Haven't they taught you any manners? I can see you all loathe me, but let me tell you, you don't stand a chance. I can curb stomp all over you.

TSUNA: Oh yeah?

CHECKERFACE: Yeah. *_emits an extremely powerful flame_* Uff.

TSUNA: Gwah! Flames!?

CHECKERFACE: Told you. It was about ten times your flame. To me, it's as easy as breathing.

BERMUDA & REBORN: Oh shit.

CHECKERFACE: You and I have different standards. We're different species.

EVERYBODY: !

VERDE: You mean you're an alien!?

CHECKERFACE: Hell no. I am a true Earthling. We were here first than you human usurpers.

TSUNA: Can we put this point off? I don't have a species war on my agenda. Today I'm only saving the Arcobaleno.

CHECKERFACE: Fine. By the way though, Uni's one of mine too.

UNI: Eh?

TSUNA: Uni!?

CHECKERFACE: And we're the only two left.

GAMMA: What is that supposed to mean, the only two left!? If you lay one finger on the Princess…

REBORN: Calm down, Gamma, I don't think he means it that way.

GAMMA: What does he mean, then?!

REBORN: _*shrugs, turns to Checkerface*_ What do you mean when you say you and Uni belong to the same species?

CHECKERFACE: Do I need to spell the word "species" for you?

TSUNA: No, more like, what is it all about!

CHECKERFACE: I didn't plan to speak, but I may as well, since you ask so nicely… I can always erase your mind or you directly if I change my mind.

LAL: What!?

REBORN: Lal, this is not the right moment to be shocked. I'll tell you when.

TSUNA: Good, if we can't defeat you directly, we'll talk our way out of this. Go on.

CHECKERFACE: So this is the truth. My species have been living on Earth and protecting it waaaay longer than yours. The Tri-Ni-Sette keeps the Earth's balance, I can't do everything by myself, though, so me and four of my comrades created the Arcobaleno out of you humans. Yeah I know it was kinda cruel of us. Then only me and Uni's ancestor were left, so we created the rings. And I took care of the Tri-Ni-Sette. End of story.

UNI: But I never heard anything like that about my ancestor!

TSUNA: That's ancestors for you, they never tell you the most important things.

CHECKERFACE: We had a fight. She wanted to coexist with humans, so she didn't advertise she was of a different race.

VERDE: But Uni is also descended from numerous humans, does it still make her your species?

CHECKERFACE: Details. Don't spoil it.

VERDE: Also, we can't be that different if inter-breeding is possible…

FON: _*nudging Verde*_ Please, this is not the right moment to be satisfying your scientific curiosity…

REBORN: So you appeared in the future as Kawahira to protect the Tri-Ni-Sette? But then, why did you disappear?

CHECKERFACE: I knew Uni would sort it out. And I don't care about the rings. I only appear when it's time to change the Arcobaleno. Uhm, it was refreshing to talk about it. Now will you give me the current Arcobaleno's pacifiers?

TSUNA: Wait! There must be another way! Without killing the current Arcobaleno!

CHEKCERFACE: If there was, I would be using it, idiot. There isn't. By the way, Tsunayoshi Sawada-kun, you're worrying about the current Arcobaleno, but you're the first on the list of the new ones.

TSUNA: Uhm, it doesn't matter that I have a ring already?

CHECKERFACE: No.

TSUNA: No harm in asking. Anyway, I'm already prepared.

ARCOBALENO: ! *_variations on grave look_*

TSUNA: May I ask who else…

TALBOT: It's true that he's prepared, but wait. Sorry for the wait, brat.

TSUNA: ! Talbot-jiisan!

TALBOT: Okay, Checkerface, why don't use you this?

CHECKERFACE: What's this?

TALBOT: It can replace the Arcobaleno, only you need lots of flames and a constant source of the flame of the night.

VERDE: I see! That's like Bermuda's technique.

CHECKERFACE: I see, but if the flame of the night is needed…

VERDE: Yeah, no-on in their right mind would assume that Bermuda will agree to that, given how he lived and created this flame for the sake of his vengeance on Checkerface.

REBORN: Still, no harm in asking. Bermuda?

BERMUDA: Thank you for the psychoanalysis. Of course, I want to do it!

VERDE: …Oh.

CHECKERFACE: What!?

TSUNA: ! I know being defeated by me changes people for good, but that radically!?

BERMUDA: If I do it, it'll be us controlling the Tri-Ni-Sette, not the odious Checkerface. Count me in.

TSUNA: Ah! That's not so bad. Not so good, I mean.

CHECKERFACE: Nice words. Then I refuse.

UNI: No, we should ask him!

TSUNA: Uni! Um, we don't have to, he already agreed…

UNI: Basically, because they want to get their revenge by humiliating you, you should agree. Plus they want to offer their future so that no other Arcobaleno are needed. You should be extremely happy about that. Also, you're not getting any younger.

CHECKERFACE: Indeed. How nice of you to point out my old age. You can see the Tri-Ni-Sette still thriving in the future… descendant of Sepira?

UNI: *_with a happy smile_* Yes!

CHECKERFACE: Fine. Then do it, Talbot. *_removes mask_* And thank you, Bermuda.

BERMUDA: Eh..! Don't even talk to me.

TSUNA: S-so easily?

REBORN: *_hisses urgently_* Shut up or he'll change his mind!

TSUNA: But he just let himself be persuaded by… a person who would die if he didn't accept the project!

REBORN: *_likewise_* Yes, but don't tell him that!

CHECKERFACE: It's not like I enjoy doing this. I keep sacrificing people for the greater good and this mask is so embarrassing. If there's a better idea, I want to use it. I have a life too, you know.

UNI: I am sure my ancestor would be happy to see you now!

REBORN: Uni… don't push it.

TALBOT: Okay, all of you pour your most powerful flames into here. Gather in a circle…

ARCOBALENO & LAL: Gathering in a circle is suspicious, but fine, it's not like you can curse _us _again.

EVERYBODY: *_emit their most powerful flame at the container_*

SKULL: It's about time someone asked this… if this works, our curse can be broken, right!?

CHECKERFACE: As the person who tricked you twice and totally ruined your life, I'll promise that.

[chapter 406]

REBORN, COLONNELLO, FON, VERDE & SKULL: _*have a collective vision of their adult selves, plus Uni at the front and Mammon lurking at the back*_

SKULL: But that didn't happen! We completed the container but we're still midgets!

REBORN, COLONNELLO, FON & VERDE: *_look slightly dejected_* You noticed.

LAL: I'm the only one who transformed.

EVERYBODY ELSE: Thanks, we entirely failed to register that.

LAL: And I got these fancy clothes which seem to have absolutely nothing to do with the outfit I wore as a baby, like, five minutes ago. And a necklace. How is this relevant to _anything_?

FON: On the bright side, it's better than those brown robes.

COLONNELLO: _Way_ better, kora.

SKULL: Checkerface's fashion sense is improving. Anyway: that's unfair, Lal Mirch!

TSUNA: We had a dramatic, fate-of-the-world-changing encounter moments ago, and now I'm on a playground with five babies and a newly adult woman. Somehow. Why didn't all the others go back to normal?

VERDE: I have an explanation ready for everything you idiots fail to understand. He removed the same amount of curse from each of us, but since Lal's curse was only partial, it had greater effect on her.

FON: …in other words?

SKULL: What do you mean!?

VERDE: Lal's curse was less powerful, so it was removed completely and she went back to normal. Understand so far? Need I provide an example? No? Good. In our case, it might be that the part about never growing up was lifted. In other words… To spell it for you, we might be growing up from now on.

COLONNELLO: From now on!?

LAL: I see.

FON: That's an interesting hypothesis.

SKULL: So we'll have to stay little for a while!?

TSUNA: Reborn is going to grow up!?

REBORN: Anyone notice the use of the word "might"? He's just making this up. And I thought a moment ago you were expecting to see me in my true form, so don't act all surprised, useless Tsuna.

VERDE: It is called educated guesswork, thank you very much.

TSUNA: …Well… *_with forced cheerfulness_* But Reborn has always been an infant, so it makes no difference anyway.

REBORN: Thank you for that.

LAL: Just you wait, Sawada, and you may be surprised.

REBORN: Thank _you_ for that, too.

FON: I sense a potentially hazardous concentration of sarcasm in the air.

SKULL: By the way, where's Mammon? Wasn't interested?

FON: The most mysterious mafioso, interested in discussing anything with us? Doubtful.

LAL: Mammon left when you were sulking, to join the Varia at the hospital.

SKULL: Mammon likes the Varia better than us…

REBORN: That's a fact, but mainly Mammon went to sell illusionary organs. Quite a catch after such a bloody fight.

TSUNA: *_shocked_* Sell illusionary organs!

KYOKO: Tsuna-kun! Sorry for letting you wait!

TSUNA: Ah. I really should've gone with you guys…

HARU: We're ready to go visit everybody! We made plushies to pray for everyone's recovery.

KYOKO: *_indicates a basket_*

TSUNA: I see enthusiasm is expected of me. Ooh, wow!

GOKUDERA: We even got non-alcoholic wine for the Bucking Horse! And dango for Basil, since he likes them!

VERDE: Unerring logic.

REBORN: I don't know about that. Non-alcoholic wine? Where's logic there?

TSUNA: Haha, they'll definitely appreciate! And you can stop it. Let's go visit Dino-san and Basil-kun right away then!

UNSPECIFIED SUBSET OF EVERYBODY ELSE: YEAH!

LAL: That's the same cheerful, childish enthusiasm I saw in the future… I don't know how long I can stand it.

REBORN: I have it every day. Walk a mile in my shoes.

LAL: They're too small.

REBORN: That was unnecessary. But since you mentioned it, the outcome is strangely similar, though still much better, to that in the future.

COLONNELLO: But that's really disappointing, kora! Just when I thought we might be getting somewhere!

FON: What do you mean?

COLONNELLO: Well, that talk after we lost sounded very- Ouch! Lal! You're an adult now, kora! You don't want to be seen kicking children in public!

LAL: Stfu.

COLONNELLO: See, kora?

FON: I believe so.

REBORN: Please, you're supposed to be happy to have survived, stop spoiling the mood.

NURSE: Dino-san is in room 202, Basil-san in room 204.

TSUNA: Thank you.

LAL: So we got here, but is it okay for so many people to enter at once?

KYOKO: Indeed, both of them are tired because of their wounds, and we might also annoy other patients.

REBORN: Tsuna and I will go first, because Tsuna is the protagonist and I can't let him go alone, he could get lost.

EVERYBODY ELSE: Right, whatever.

FON: Lal? May I point out your clothes have changed again?

LAL: Shit. This is getting creepy. I'd better borrow something from Bianchi later.

TSUNA: *_looking around_* 203…must be somewhere around here! Ah! …Oh crap!

TSUNA, REBORN, LEVI, SQUALO, XANXUS, BYAKURAN, BLUEBELL, HIBARI, MUKURO & ASSOCIATES: *_much shouting, fighting, breaking through walls and similar_*

MAMMON: If you mess about with these organs like that, I'm raising the fee.

TSUNA: So, basically, instead of Dino-san and Basil-kun, I managed to find the Varia, who would really stand a better chance for recovery if they had separate rooms, Byakuran and Bluebell, who broke through a wall to see if it was really me, Hibari-san with lots of Hibirds and Mukuro with his gang. And somehow, everybody started to fight. And then it turned out Dino-san and Basil-kun were on the opposite side of the corridor. Story of my life, really.

REBORN: It means they're getting better. Very heartwarming, the way a truly traumatizing arc should end.

TSUNA: I'm surprised this hospital is even still standing. Maybe the roof is not a good place to be at after all. And they made a mess because you instigated them!

REBORN: I suggested a pillow fight. In a spirit of fraternity born from fighting together.

TSUNA: Sure. And you even look happy!

REBORN: Yeah, you sort of saved my life, which I am, in a way, attached to, so I guess I'm happy. Thanks, by the way.

TSUNA: Reborn… B-but it's not just thanks to me! I'm too humble to get all the praise, and being thanked by Reborn feels strange!

REBORN: Of course, I know. Don't get carried away, useless Tsuna. I have to stress the point that you're still, despite having defeated another most powerful opponent, no good, so that I need to keep tutoring you.

TSUNA: Tsk! What the… But it's the truth. Once again I have learned the true power of friendship. Although, with regard to some members of the alliance, the term "friendship" is used loosely and very much stretched.

REBORN: *_smiles knowingly_* …Meanwhile, Bermuda and the others are protecting the container, so that no Arcobaleno need to be created ever again.

TSUNA: Yeah, and here I thought they were utter bad guys only because they tried to kill the Simon, my mom, the Arcobaleno, me and practically everybody else. I'm starting to doubt my instinct.

REBORN: They were bad then. Stick to your instinct, it's one of your few merits.

TSUNA: Tsk! I don't wanna hear that from an infant!

REBORN: Oh? But you know it's because of you we didn't change back?

TSUNA: Me..? How is it because of me!? Verde said…

REBORN: Verde uses logic and so misses a very important thing about the nature of the universe. A thing which I know quite well.

TSUNA: So? What's that?

REBORN: It's called _Narrativum._ To put it simply, it would be too great a shock for you to see us all transformed. Particularly me. But you could see Lal safely, since you've already met her in the future.

TSUNA: …That makes no sense!

REBORN: It does. Trust me.

TSUNA: This can be difficult. Anyway, I did save you!

REBORN: As I said.

TSUNA: By the way, tell me! That man in a suit who shot me with a dying will bullet! Who was he?

REBORN: You _really_ don't understand?

TSUNA: Nope… Though I could only win thanks to him…

REBORN: Stupid Tsuna! Do you know Mammon was accepting bets on whether you realize it or not?

TSUNA: Mammon was..!?

REBORN: I had to make it look like I trust in you. You'll pay.

TSUNA: Eeeek! Let's end this arc already!

…/END.


End file.
